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mscritiqueoffice

5 Things I’ve Discovered Since Leaving Facebook

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Long story short, I just reactivated my personal facebook account. Naturally, I had a scroll back through my feed and for about the first minute, I hate to admit—I was fascinated. I used to love facebook. I realised I had missed so much, despite catching up with my close friends regularly. Photos of babies, house renovations…name changes and trashy nights out. I felt that pang. That pang of feeling like an outsider looking in—at a world I was no longer apart of.

And then, after about three scrolls in, I felt numb. I’d forgotten half the people on my account. How did we know each other again? That’s when the eye rolling started. It was the same old thing, just a year on. Grandstanding! Self promoting! Boasting and bragging! The funny thing is, none of this would have even crossed my mind back when I was a regular user. (God, I make it sound like I was taking crack or something.) Hell, I was just as guilty of the same crimes against humanity. It’s just what you did—you shared everything.

HELL, I WAS JUST AS GUILTY OF THE SAME CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY.

Take, the old work mate who promotes himself every opportunity he gets… but always in a way where he wants you to think he’s not. Or say, the old school friend who documents every single minute of the day with a bazillion photos. Or, the weird back-patting culture. A guy I know, openly praises an old work mate on facebook, then behind closed doors rips him to shreds in front of his peers. Bitches about his wife. His work ethic. Everything. Why? Isn’t that exhausting? Then, there’s the couple who think they’re the world’s real Frank and Claire Underwood. Every status update ends in #powercouple #takingovertheworld. Ugh. Sorry, make that #Ugh.

Needless to say, I got what I needed and got the hell out of there—not today, facebook. Today, I win. MC

[the food]5 things I’ve discovered since leaving facebook [/the food]

  1. It’s creepy. A friend of mine admitted that she hasn’t updated her facey status in years, (Yes, years people!), and the only reason she has facebook is so she can see what everyone else is doing. Just the thought, makes me shudder. It’s the digital equivalent of someone standing on a crate peering into your lounge room. Creeeeepy!
  2. It’s digital crack. This shit is addictive. It plays on our natural curiosity to want to know everything—all the time. It used to be so interesting to see what everyone was doing; what jobs they’d gotten, or who they got engaged to. Now, I just don’t care. I feel like I’d never have to catch up with anyone ever again because I already know exactly what you’re doing and what you even had for breakfast! Boring. (Two years of sobriety this year baby.)
  3. I don’t have anything to prove anymore. I read back through my old status updates and everything was about proving that I was doing stuff with my life. Achieving! Moving forward! Kicking goals! Everything was under control! I got this! I lost my way, and facebook was my enabler. I used to love when friends would say ‘Gosh you’re living the dream! I want your life!’ I realised I was kicking imaginary goals in a game where I was the only player.
  4. The best times happen off facebook. I’ve noticed that the really great times happen when there’s no camera around to record it. When I’m offline, I’m usually having a ball. I’m living: I’m laughing til I’m doubled over crying; I’m at the beach getting dunked, sand under my feet, and salt water in my hair; Im loved up with SilverFox on the lounge, watching a movie, happier than I’ve ever been. I don’t need to record it, to make it real.
  5. I no longer narrate my own life. Growing up, The Wonder Years was one of my favourite shows. Facebook had an uncanny ability to make me think that my timeline was actually some random guy narrating what was happening in my life. Rather than actually being ‘in’ the moment, and soaking up ‘life’, I was too busy making sure my story had flow.

 

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