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Dear MsCritique

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Dear MsCritique,

I have two facebook friends who are married (to each other) and continually call each other sickening names and gush about how in love they are (on facebook). Surely they see each other at home and can do it in private. What do you think?

Dear Schnoopy Woopy,

My bad. Apologies Pooky-Bear-Honey-Bunny-Buckles.

Sickening, isn’t it?

Well as they say, when there’s smoke there’s usually a jazz club nearby. Or fire!

Either they are ridiculously loved up circa Britney and Justin, 1999. I’m talking matching double denim outfits here (entirely possible), and they just happen to be socially retarded­­­­—or… they’ve been sleeping in separate bedrooms for the last year.

You see Buttercup, once upon a time, a public display of affection (PDA) meant being slobbered all over in a dark corner of a bar while your mates tried not to look. Talk about awkward! Now a PDA is as simple as changing your relationship status update to ‘in a relationship with @MySweetAngelsoluckytohavemetyou #bestdayofmylife’.

Awkward for those that are single, and like telling every couple on facey that not only are you winning at life, but you’re more ‘in love’ than they are.

Loved up couple: one.

You: zero.

Truth be told, I think Mr and Mrs HappilyEverAfter are the luckiest bastards in the world—though socially inept. Yes, they could do it in private, (Where’s the fun torture in that!) but love—and facebook—is kind of like Instagram; if you didn’t ‘gram it, it never happened.

Signing out,

Critiquey Wiquey.

MORE IMPORTANTLY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK POSSUM?

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