How To Make Your Vagina Smell Like Peaches


Oh yeah, you read that right. So apparently, there’s a new probiotic on the market that can make your cooch smell like peaches. Again, just in case you missed it. A probiotic that can make your hoo-hoo, cha cha, bahinga-jang smell like, pea-chaaaas! Developed by two guys, they’ve called the idea ‘personalised probiotics’, using bio-hacking to not just make your lady box smell better, but to also help with UTIs and yeast infections… well, at least that’s how the marketing spin goes, anyway. Now, I don’t know about you, but something’s a bit fishy—oh I went there.

Interestingly, the project got banned from kickstarter, which got me wondering… Do I want to make my vagina to smell like peaches? Would it taste like peaches too? And, I’m not sure peach would even be my fruit of choice. Why not passionfruit, or mango, or strawberries. I mean, everyone likes strawberries! And why fruit? Also, let’s face it, if guys really had a say in the matter (FYI, your chasm of doom vagina aroma (?) is your choice, and yours alone), I’m not convinced that a fruity fragrance would be at the top of their list.

If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it would be more, Crispy Fried Chicken with a top note of Sweet Potato Fries, or Leftover Pizza with an lingering waft of Cold Beer. And, it also begs the question: why isn’t there a male equivalent? I mean, I’d totally be up for Cookie Dough flavour or say, Waffles with Maple Syrup.

Okay, okay, all joking aside, I’m not totally against the idea—they’re onto something here—I mean, they’ve definitely given me some food for thought. (Boom tish!) And, isn’t there a reason they call it cunnilingus? Or should that be culinary-ingus! You’re welcome. MC